CRASH: Yeah, I went to the Gladiators game on Thursday, and then just Friday, Saturday Sunday -- I had a gig. God, I don't even know when it was. Saturday, I think it was. Just wrong things happened there.
TOUCHER: All right, we'll do traffic and then we'll discuss this a little bit.
CRASH: All right, sounds good. Got big troubles out there --
...
TOUCHER: So what was the appearance? What was wrong with the appearance?
CRASH: Oh, it was at Jack Rabbit Lounge. Leslie, are you shaking your head for a reason?
LESLIE: Yes, I am.
CRASH: Really?
WALLY: She already knows?
CRASH: Am I in trouble?
LESLIE: Yeah, they're not very happy with you.
LESLIE: And I don't even know what you did yet, but I guess I'm going to find out about it pretty soon what happened. Tell your side, Crash, now.
TOUCHER: Yeah, tell your story to the masses. That's a good defense.
CRASH: Wait a minute now, these 311 tickets were like the most coveted tickets in the world, so we were coming up with all these crazy contests and what not to do. We had a gig at Jackrabbit Lounge, 10:00 on Saturday. And like, every -- I mean, it's amazing. I mean, you were mentioning that they were like $600 on eBay and stuff like that. I mean, people go crazy for these. So there was a girl that was like, I'm the biggest 311 fan in the world. I'm the biggest 3 -- and I'm like, all right, all right, everybody, everybody is, and we're doing just regular trivia questions. And I go, how big of a fan are you? She goes, I'll do anything.
TOUCHER: Right. Which is always -- which I've been at gigs where that has happened.
CRASH: Right, right. And so I said, OK --
JIMMY: And they usually won't, by the way.
CRASH: Well, unless you're at Ballyhoos, and for a Coppertone t-shirt, they'll go down on you for like --
JIMMY: Except for that place. But women don't understand that their version of anything and our version of anything -- different.
CRASH: Yeah, so it definitely puts you to the test.
JIMMY: Like our version of anything is not name all the members of 311. That's what they think --
TOUCHER: Or put like, like spaghetti on top of your head and run around the bar. Yeah, right.
JIMMY: Yeah, when Crash is at the helm, anything means something.
CRASH: Hey, well, anything was anything. I mean, and it --
JIMMY: (inaudible) dirty the next day.
CRASH: Anything was anything, and it happened in the men's room. So --
TOUCHER: Oh, really?
CRASH: Yes, really. I sat there with the tickets in my hand and go, go ahead. And she did to him. I gave her the tickets.
WALLY: Wait! No! No!
JIMMY: What?
TOUCHER: (inaudible) you had a couple go in?
CRASH: Yeah.
TOUCHER: You -- you watched --
JIMMY: You
TOUCHER: Oh! (laughter)
WALLY: You just got creepier.
JIMMY: Oh my God!
CRASH: Well, I had to make sure that she was doing it (inaudible; water sounds). I was, she was, return to the pool.
WALLY: You used to have chicks do it to you. Oh, man.
TOUCHER: Did you brought -- did the girl know the guy?
CRASH: No, no idea. No idea.
JIMMY: Oh my God!
TOUCHER: It was just a random girl and a random guy?
CRASH: Random guy, random girl. They were in there. And I swear to God, I really didn't think they were going to take the bait. I was going to give her tickets anyway. We had like 12 pair to give away. And I swear to God, it was like five minutes after I said to do it --
TOUCHER: What'd she do, oral?
CRASH: Yeah. So like five minutes -- five minutes out --
JIMMY: Oh, my God!
WALLY: Leslie is so not happy right now.
LESLIE: I am so pissed off right now. I am so pissed off right now.
CRASH: You people do nothing but scream that you want Crash, you want craziness, you want craziness. Every time I do craziness, I get friggin' suspended.
JIMMY: Wow!
LESLIE: I don't think that we asked you to go in and ask people to do that, though.
CRASH: Oh, come on! What do you think happens at these bar gigs?
LESLIE: Oh, bull -- you and I had this -- you and I have had this conversation many times --
CRASH: But what do you think happens at these bar gigs at 12:00 at night in Buckhead?
LESLIE: The last conversation we had -- I don't even want to talk about it. You disgust me.
LESLIE: You frickin' disgust me.
CRASH: You've got to be kidding me. Are you -- ?
LESLIE: No, I've got to be kidding you? When the people that work there were pissed about it?
TOUCHER: We're in trouble.
JIMMY: Yeah, I know that tone.
TOUCHER: You're in trouble, boy.
CRASH: What up --
LESLIE: Whatever. Whatever. We've had this conversation before.
TOUCHER: Trouble. Trouble afoot. There you go, Mr. Crash. Well done. All right, well, there you go --
WALLY: Why don't you just change your name to Crass. Crass Clark.
TOUCHER: Well, I've seen -- I've seen not with a man and a woman, but at Ballyhoos gigs I've seen similar things involving two women. I mean, it just sort of happens in those environments. But there you go. All right --